


Letters to Joa

by boredomsMuse



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cause Lance has a son, Eventual Black Paladin Lance, F/M, M/M, Teenage parenthood, Your daily dosage of langst, and his name is Joa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 00:46:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9942710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boredomsMuse/pseuds/boredomsMuse
Summary: Lance didn't exactly get time to prepare before he was flown off into space.  That meant no packing, no filling out absence notes at the garrison, and no saying goodbye.So when Lance finds Blue can record Video Logs he decides to use them to explain himself to the person he least wanted to leave behind.  Even if he can't exactly said them just yet.





	1. Space Log 1: Day 5 or 6

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I'm update Cause of Crash soon, I've just had this idea in my head a while i needed to write it  
> 

Blue purred softly, drawing her paladin from his thoughts and directing his attention once more to her screen.  Lance took a deep breath and studied the video feed before him.  Blue’s cockpit was clean, a bit on the dusty side maybe but clean.  His armour was shiny, no hint of the explosion he’d barely survived.  His hair was a mess, having played victim to the helmet carefully placed by Lance’s side, but the pilot could live with that. 

 

Lance took another deep breath.  The others were off doing their own thing; they probably wouldn’t go looking from him until it was time for dinner and if they did Lance trusted Blue not to let them in.  He was ready.

 

“You’re good to start recording my lovely lady.”  He smiled, hoping he didn’t sound as nervous as he felt.  Of course, it was impossible to hide anything from a lion you were connected to in mind, body, and soul.  Another soft purr rumbled through him, offering comfort and confidence.  “Thanks girl.”  Lance breathed, smiling a little wider. 

 

A red light appeared in the screens corner. 

 

“Hey Joa.”  He greeted the screen, any hint of stress or sadness gone from his face and tone.  “I think it’s been like, 5 or 6 days since I left Earth and uh, I’m… I’m really sorry about that bud, not saying goodbye and stuff.  And I’m really sorry about not doing this earlier or something.  I didn’t know Blue could make these video journal entry thingies.  Plus it’s been like a _super_ crazy few days Joa, you probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you all the sh-stuff I’ve been through.

 

“But I’m gonna tell you anyway, because I want you to know what’s going on.  I want you to know why your papi’s not at home and why… why I broke my promise to always be there.  I want you to know I miss you and I’m thinking about you.  And what better why then to regal you with stories about how papi’s a hero saving the universe now?”  Lance grinned, moving his arms to pose dramatically as he did, before his good mood faulted a moment, becoming a little more serious.

 

“I don’t know what the garrison told you but you gotta know you can’t trust them, you know?  They said Shiro crashed, but he didn’t.  He was abducted by aliens and now he’s with me saving the universe.  So if… if the garrison told you I, that I died I’m still alive and kicking bud.  If they, if they said I ran away just, just know that’s not even close to the truth.  I swear, I would never _ever_ do that, not to you, or mummy, or abuelita.  I did… I did leave, I mean _techinally_.  But not like, because I wanted to.  I had to Joa, to protect you and everyone else.  And I can’t come home just yet for the same reason, but I promise I will.  As soon as the universe is safe.

 

“That might… it might take a while though Joa.  The galra, that’s the bad guys, they’ve got a ten thousand year head start.  They’re getting closer and closer to Earth every day and you might be a bit too young to get how bad that is but it’ll be really, _really_ uncool if they get there.  There’s nothing to worry about though hijo, papi and his friends aren’t going to let that happen.”  Lance paused to take another breath. 

 

“And don’t you worry about my safety either, because you’re papi’s a bada- really good fighter.  Plus, I’ve got Uncle Hunk with me and he’s always got my back.”  Lance smiled.  A purr rang throughout the cockpit and Lance chuckled a little, petting the controls before him. “And of course I’ve got my wonderful lady right here.  Joa, this is Blue.”  He hummed, moving forward to tap the controls as Blue had instructed.  The video feed changed from him to pre-recordings of Blue in action, taken by the castles security cameras.

 

“That’s her, my amazing Blue.  Isn’t she great?  She’s super strong, and I know she hasn’t met you yet but she already loves you.  How could she not?  You’ve got the McClain charm.”  Once more the camera feed shifted.  “She’s becomes the right leg of this super awesome robot called Voltron, and clearly that’s the most important part of Voltron.  Shiro thinks he’s so awesome because he’s the black lion whose the head of Voltron but clearly being the leg’s where it’s at.  I mean, Shiro’s still awesome but not _as_ awesome as mi, obviously. 

 

“There’s also Pidge, she’s in the green lion and she’s super smart.  She was in my team at the garrison but she was pretending to be a guy.  She told us all the other day, obviously we all already knew but it’s the thought that counts.  I was… I was going to introduce you to her, you know?  Back at the garrison.  It was going to be a surprise for you both.”  Lance’s smile dropped, grateful that Blue was still showing footage of his teammates so his expression was hidden.  He took a moment and steadied himself.  “It’s all good though, it’s just a little postponed, you know?

 

“Uncle Hunk’s got the yellow lion, and he’s a leg like me.  Further proof the legs are the best.  It’s really funny watching him freak a little about everything.  He hates the food.  I mean, we all do, because it’s gross and slime-y and tastes like shi- terribleness.  But theres also no ingredients so Hunk can’t really cook.  Which sucks for me too, cause Uncle Hunk’s cooking rocks.  He misses you heaps by the way, almost as much as I do.  Almost.

 

“Then there’s Kogane.”  Lance groaned.  “He’s the _worst_.  This guy’s the red pilot and he thinks he’s all that because the red lions _so_ hard to pilot.  He was my rival back at the garrison, back when you were the tiniest bean.”  The pilot hesitated a moment before sighing, he might as well be honest.  “I guess he’s not _that_ bad.  He did help save my life and stuff, plus technically he _is_ the best pilot.  Not including Shiro, of course.  No one can match Shiro.

 

“Then there’s these two alteans we’ve been hanging out with.  That’s right Joa, papi met aliens.”  Lance was back to grinning as footage of Allura and Coran played.  “The girl with the white hair, that’s Allura.  She’s the prettiest and the scariest woman I’ve ever met.  Scarier than your abuelita after she finds out you broke her fine china.  Not uh, not that I’ve done that or anything, but make sure not to mention that to her I’d rather she forget it forever.  The guy with the silly moustache, that’s Coran.  He’s… pretty excitable but he’s great.  He tells me stories about Altea, his home planet, all the time.  I’ll tell you one sometime, it was a pretty crazy planet.”  The footage shifted back to Lance sitting in his chair.  There was a squeak as the mice darted up to his shoulders, inspecting what he was up to.  Probably to snitch.

 

“And of course, there’s these guys.”  Lance grinned, scratching under each of their chins.  “These are the mice.  They’re from Altea too and they’ve got this weird telepathy link with Allura.  They’re adorable and awesome but be warned, they’re the worst snitches.  You guys better not tell Allura about this, got it?”  The mice made a noise that Lance decided meant yes.  Another purr rang over the cockpit and Lance sighed.

 

“That’s Blue telling me its dinner time.  I should get going buddy, but I promise I’m going to start recording these more often for you.  I hope you’re doing good hijo, and that you’re eating your greens, and causing trouble ‘cause ladies love the bad boys.”  Lance smiled and gave the camera a little wave.  “I’ll talk to you later Joa, love you.” 

 

The video cut out and Lance’s smile dropped.

 

Lance didn’t like breaking promises.  He’d promised Joa he wouldn’t be like his own father, he’d sworn he’d always be there.  Recording videos his son may never see didn’t count as keeping that promise.  So many things could go wrong, they could never get close enough to Earth to send them, or Blue could get close enough but Lance could have died, or worse yet they could be too late.  The galra could have taken control of Earth and Joa could be… Joa could be…

 

The Blue Paladin shook the thought from his head.  He refused to even think that was a possibility.  Lance took a few breaths, recollecting himself.  Video messages were the best he could do, he knew that.  One day… One day Joa would understand that.

 

Yeah.

 

“Thanks Blue.”  He forced a smile, running his hand along her walls as he left, a comforting purr echoing his footsteps.

 

Everyone else was already eating when he arrived at the dining room.  They looked up as Lance headed to collect himself a bowl of food goo. 

 

“How come you’re late?”  Pidge asked around a mouthful of food.  Lance shrugged.

 

“I was bonding with Blue, lost track of time.”  He claimed.  Only Hunk knew about the videos Lance had decided to make.  Hell, only Hunk knew about Joa (it was kind of a requirement, being Hunk was the boy’s godfather and all).  It wasn’t that Lance was ashamed of being a father, certainly not that he was ashamed of Joa.  But having a 2 year old child by the time you’re 18 wasn’t exactly a social norm and Lance knew better than to think people could accept that completely without judgement.  So he wanted to keep it to himself, at least for now.

 

“I’m glad to hear you’re taking Voltron seriously Lance.”  Shiro praised, making Lance smile a little shyly, quick to use his dinner to try to hide the way the unjust praise made his heart flutter a little.

 

“’Course man.”  He shrugged.  Hunk gave his best friend a concerned look, a clear but silent ‘are you okay?’ and Lance gave the teen sitting across from him a grin in response, watching the other relax a little.

 

He’d make another video soon.  Maybe he could find a hand held camera, give Joa a tour of the castle (as long as he was careful to avoid everyone else).


	2. Space Log 5: Day 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad people are enjoying the story! Don't expect updates this constantly but I was on a roll today and yesterday and so voilla, second chapter.  
> I think it's sadder than the first

Lance wrapped his blanket a little tighter around himself as he trudged through the castle halls.  It was dark and cold and quiet, his own steps and yawns echoing loudly around him as he made his way towards Blue.  He should be asleep, Allura would no doubt be calling them for some sort of training in just a few hours and he needed to be well rested. 

 

And yet he walked on.

 

It wasn’t like any of them really slept anyway.  As far as he could tell Shiro was up until the ungodly hours of the castles pseudo morning training, Allura was constantly looking over age old distress beacons for a place they could save, and Pidge was constantly shifting through whatever new intel she’d scored during the teams latest encounter with the galra.  Lance had spotted Coran doing late night ‘fix ups’ on the caste rather than sleeping on multiple occasions, He occasionally heard Hunk messing around in the kitchen, occasionally didn’t hear snoring coming Keith’s room.  No one on the castle had a healthy sleep schedule. 

 

And who could blame them for that?  I mean really, when they’re in the mists of a war, fighting for their lives every day, miles away from everything familiar, and knowing the universes fate rested on their shoulders.  The nightmares came in spades for everyone.

 

No one talked about it, not like as a group or anything.  Everyone was aware of it but they just sort of ignored it.  And Lance was okay with that, really.  Most of his nightmares contained Joa, he wasn’t really bursting with a need to share them with his team, but thinking about how that’d all just accepted the nightmares as a part of their day to day lives… it made him feel a thousand years old instead of 18.

 

Lance sighed, running a hand through his hair and stopping outside the massive form of his lion.  He rarely ever noticed how large his favourite girl was, how intimidating she must be to everyone else.  He looked at her and found only comfort and care.  He needed that right now.

 

“Hey girl.”  He greeted, patting her leg as she lowered her hand and allowed him to walk in.  He stepped into her cockpit and sat himself down in the pilot chair with another sigh.  Her seat was surprisingly comfortable, more so even than the bunk in his borrowed room.  He could probably just sleep here…

 

But no, no he couldn’t do that.  He wasn’t ready to sink beneath the waves of sleep and into the realms of dreams just yet.

 

“Your files are fine, right?”  He asked after a moment of just sitting in silence, calmed by her presence.  “The videos aren’t corrupted or like, deleted?”  Blue purred softly, showing Lance the four videos still completely safe on her internal hard-drive.  Her own memory, maybe?  He wasn’t really sure were her consciousness ended and machine started.  “Awesome.”  He breathed, looking at the still images of that convincing but fake smile plastered on his face, like everything was fine. 

 

Like he thought he was coming home.

 

Lance sighed softly.  “They’re kinda meaningless videos, hey girl?”  He mumbled, shutting his eyes as a confused rumble ran through him.  “I mean like, they’re there and they’re proof I’m thinking about Joa but they’re not… they’re not really a replacement for a father, you know?”  He elaborated.  “Like all I do is sit there and tell him I miss him and talk about you or the team or the castle or something else that doesn’t really mean much.  I mean, you mean a lot, and the mission means a lot, but… I just don’t feel like I’m doing enough.”  He sighed.  Concern washed through him, alongside reassurances and confidence that he was doing all he could. 

 

“Allura killed her father today.”  Lance whispered in response.  “Not her actual father, it was like an AI but still, she destroyed the last remnants of home and family she had and I heard her, I probably shouldn’t’ve been eavesdropping, but I heard her talking to Coran about how he’d had so much left to teach her.”  Lance curled in on himself some as he spoke.  “I don’t want to leave Joa with nothing Blue, there was so much I had planned for the two of us.  So many things I was going to teach him and help him with and I… how am I meant to do that over video?  How am I meant to have bonding moments over a camera?”  He didn’t know, and Blue had no answer for him.  Lance sniffled and took a deep breath. 

 

He may not know how he was meant to make these videos matter but he did want to make one now, if only for the small comfort it gave him to pretend for a moment that Joa might actually be watching. 

 

“Put on the camera please.”  He mumbled.  “Don’t hit record just yet.  Gotta, gotta make sure I’m presentable you know?”  Blue purred softly and Lance looked up to face himself.

 

He looked like shit, his eyes were puffy and carrying heavy bags, expressing the weight of having almost died three times that day.  The blanket had slipped and shifted, revealing bruises scattered across his form from team training or battles or the solo training he’d started doing with the gladiator (an attempt to learn close quarters fighting so he was more than just a sharpshooter).  His hands looked terrible, knuckles busted from his training and blisters formed by Blue’s controls and his bayard.  Lance took a deep breath and used Blue’s controls to change the lighting so the bags weren’t so noticeable.  He carefully adjusted the blanket to hide the bruises and made a mental note not to gesture with his hands so much.  His hair was just lightly tussled for once, no helmet hair today, and when he fixed his posture he almost portrayed the perfect likeness of someone not making a video in the middle of the night because they woke up sobbing.

 

“I’m ready Blue.”  He announced.  Was he really though?  Lance wasn’t even sure what he was going to say in this video.  How he was going to make it _matter_.  Blue purred cautiously in response to his worries but Lance brushed her kind concern off.  “I’m fine girl, promise.”  He assured.  She hesitated a moment longer before he heard her sigh and that red light flashed on.

 

“Sup bud?”  Lance grinned, beginning pretty easily for someone not sure what to say.  Words rarely evaded him, even when he wasn’t sure what the hell he was talking about.  He was glad to find it equally easy to slip into was Hunk called his ‘daddy voice’ (the term never failed to crack Lance up and Hunk never succeeded in figuring out why), his calm and happy tone even when his insides felt like a hurricane.  The blue paladin decided to just keep talking, to just not to think about it.  It wasn’t all that hard to do.

 

“It’s space day 11, according to Pidge who apparently has managed to count the days between all the space travel and the fighting weird robot beasts and escaping imploding stars.  I don’t know how she did it and I don’t know how it’s only been like 11 days, but hey I’m not going to argue with a certifiable genius.  I think she and Hunk are working on a proper Earth calendar, like one that’ll tell us what day of the week it is and stuff.  It was probably Hunk’s idea, your uncle really knows how to get a guy, uh girl, to focus on not focusing for a little while, you know?  That’s some good advice for ya right there Joa, never focus too hard or you’ll miss the big picture.  You got to take breaks every once in a while.

 

“Of course, there’s not really a lot of time for breaks when you’re saving the universe.  But there are moments here and there and we all try to take them when we can.  Though I think some people need a refresher on what the term ‘break’ means ‘cause no one can sit still around here.  Shiro and Keith think beating each other up in the training deck is a perfect way to relax in between space battles.”  Lance scoffed, words carefully picked to make sure it didn’t sound too… too real.  Space battles, not war.  He wouldn’t call this a war, not to his son who might just be old enough to understand that war was bad and soldiers didn’t always come home. 

 

He was gesturing with his injured hand.  He needed to stop that.  Lance quickly brought the hand under the blanket, wrapping the fabric around him a little more and holding it in place firmly. 

 

“I’m pretty sure Allura practices her scary faces in her free time.  And her disappointed ones.  I caught mummy doing that once.  She was practicing how she was going to tell her parents about you and she was making all these really, _really_ bad faces in the mirror.  Like she was going to try to scare them out of getting mad.”  Lance winced the second he’d finished the anecdote.  He could censor the word ‘war’ but still managed to let stuff like that slip.  Maybe talking without thinking wasn’t a good idea.  It rarely was. 

 

“They weren’t mad though buddy, Gran and Pa love you to pieces I promise.”  He tried to backpedal quickly.  The lie tasted foul in his mouth but he wasn’t about to tell Joa that his grandparents hated him.  That’d they’d hated him from the moment Julie had stumbled through her confession.  He couldn’t tell Joa that the Riveras despised the child (and Lance) for being a stain on their family’s ‘good’ name, for ruining their precious daughter’s perfect life.  It hurt Lance enough that the two took every opportunity to tell _him_ that, to spit insults and hatred over a broken condom and an unplanned life, Lance wasn’t going to put his son through that.

 

But then it’s not like he was around to shield Joa from that anymore.

 

Panic seized his form at the thought.  Lance wouldn’t be around to take the brunt of their judgement.  The Riveras would have only Joa and Lance’s mother to take their displeasure out on.

 

Oh god. 

 

The blue paladin began to hyperventilate as he remembered Joa and Julie had been living with his family only so he and Julie could raise Joa together.  That’s what they’d told her parents who, despite hating Joa, would still rather see him in their care than Lance’s.  Lance was gone now though, Julie had no excuses to keep their son out of that household. 

 

They’d both agreed it would do Joa no good to be raised around her parents, that their negative presence would only cause Joa grief and it was no place for their child.  But Lance wasn’t around anymore, Julie had no excuse to stay with the McClain’s anymore.  His son could be raised in an emotionally abusive environment and there was _nothing_ _he could do to stop it because he was stuck in space without so much as a way to communicate with his son_.

 

Blue’s soft thoughts calmed him from his panic slowly but surely, she was patient with him as he tried to get his breathing under control and accept that she was right.  Everything would be okay, he just had to trust that Julie and his mama wouldn’t let that happened.  They loved Joa as much as he did, they’d find a way.  Julie would raise his right.

 

Just… without him.

 

“Shut the camera off Blue.”  Lance mumbled, a little breathless and a little not all there yet.  “Delete that one, please.”  His lion purred her affirmative and Lance continued to try to calm down some more.  He wanted to do this.  He _needed_ to do this after the day and the dream he’d had, needed to convince himself he was still doing his best to stay in his son’s life.

 

And yet, ironically enough, it was his focusing on the fact he _wasn’t_ in his son’s life that was making it so hard to do this.

 

_‘…good advice for ya right there Joa, never focus too hard or you’ll miss the big picture.  You got to take breaks every once in a while.’_

 

Lance jumped at the sound of his own voice playing over Blue’s speakers.  He laughed a little, watching her recording of him speaking before Blue paused it and deleted the video.  Her pilot took a deep breath and stood up from the comfortable chair.

 

“Sometimes I really am a genius.”  He joked, as though those weren’t Hunk’s wise words he’d been repeating.  “I’m going to take a walk girl, I’ll be back when I’m a bit more level headed.” 

 

* * *

 

Taking a break from his thoughts had never been easy for Lance, but without fresh air or the ocean breeze it was nigh impossible to take his mind off of Joa or home.  His footsteps echoed throughout the corridors once more, his focus on his feet rather than his direction.

 

He tried to get his mind off of it, really he did.  He signed through the ASL alphabet forwards and then backwards, sung single ladies in English, Spanish, and Russian, and finally resorted to counting as high as he could by twos, switching languages every time he messed up. 

 

It helped, at first, kinda.  But Lance’s brain kept dragging him back to Joa.  He’d never get to teach Joa French in the ‘name of romance’ or Italian for the same reason.  Never catch him watching anime and sit him down for a stern talk about the importance of watching anime in the original Japanese without subtitles for proper weeaboo cred.  He hoped his mother at least taught Joa Spanish, it was so important to Lance and his family and he didn’t want Joa to miss out on that. 

 

He would if he ended up living in Julie’s house.

 

Lance groaned, stopping to kick one of the castle walls as though that might help ease his frustrations.  It didn’t, because the wall groaned slightly and Lance remembered the building had tried to kill him _twice_ that day.  He quickly muttered apologies, patting the wall in an effort to sooth the castles feelings.

 

“Lance?  What are you doing?”  The voice made Lance jump, turning around and with his blanket at the ready to be… used as a weapon?  Luckily he found Shiro standing in front of him and soft fabric didn’t need to be turned deadly.

 

“Jesus Shiro!”  Lance hissed.  “I could’ve hurt you!” 

 

“Witch a blanket?”  Shiro asked, an amused twitch to his lips.

 

“It’s good for strangulation!”  The shorter argued, though it was hard to even look mad when Shiro laughed.  Still, Lance was determined.  He dropped his dangerous hold on the warm material to cross arms over his chest and pout.

 

“What are you doing up so late?”  The leader asked.

 

“Being scared to death by jerks.”  Lance complained.  “What are _you_ doing up so late?”

 

“I was on my way to bed, actually.”  Shiro said, nodding his head in the direction of the hall that Lance assumed led to the bedrooms.

 

“You’re kidding right?  Allura’s gonna wake us up with alarms in like, an hour tops.”  Lance commented.

 

“All the more reason you should head to bed.”  Shiro shrugged.  “We all need our sleep.”  The blue paladin barely fought the urge to mutter ‘hypocrite’ at the comment.

 

“I got some sleep; I just woke up early is all.”  Lance shrugged back.  “Figured there was no point getting back to sleep, because, again, the literal alarm.”

 

“ _You_ woke up early?”  Shiro clarified, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

 

“It happens, geez.”  Lance huffed, crossing his arms a little tighter and looking elsewhere.  They were silent a moment.  The blue paladin could feel his leaders gaze on him, studying him, he tried his hardest not to squirm.

 

“Nightmare?”  Shiro asked, breaking the team’s unspoken rule in a soft tone.  “I get them too, they’re nothing to be ashamed about considering our situation.  They’re normal even.”  He offered.  Lance could help but scoff a laugh at that.

 

“Mine aren’t exactly ‘normal’ Shiro.”  That was a bit insensitive, he realized a moment too late.  Shiro’s nightmares probably weren’t any more normal than his were, considering the man had literally been fighting for his life this past year.  And besides, Lance’s dream could even be considered funny.  What wasn’t amusing about a 2 year old with blue eyes, blond-brown hair, and chubby cheeks in a galra uniform?

 

Probably the part where he’d joined the dark side because Lance was an absent father.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”  Shiro offered, calm as ever despite Lance’s self-perceived rudeness. 

 

“Sure, I was having a picnic with my two year old son but then, surprise, he’s actually a galra soldier now because I’m a bad father!”   Lance was almost tempted to say.  The words danced on the tip of his tongue, ready to spill into open air and face the judgement that awaited them.  But Lance wasn’t ready, his mind too clouded with thoughts of Julie’s parents and their hateful eyes.  He couldn’t risk that reaction, not from Shiro, not from anyone on the castle.

 

“Not really.”  He said instead, shrugging a little.  He moved his hands to put them in his pockets but he wasn’t wearing his jacket, so he moved to instead wrap the blanket around himself again.  Shiro hesitated but nodded.

 

“Alright, but know you can come to me whenever you need.”  He smiled.

 

“Okay.”  Lance mumbled, still not looking at his idol.  Another moment of silence ensured, this one a little more awkward and a little more tense until it too was broken by Shiro.

 

“Here.”  He said, holding out a tablet Lance hadn’t realized he was holding.  “There’s a library of books on there with a universal translator.  It’s not exactly an exhaustive library, but maybe they’ll be something there that’ll help take your mind off things.”  Lance hesitated a moment before taking the offered tablet.

 

“Thanks.”  He mumbled, holding it loosely in his hand.

 

“Don’t mention it.”  Shiro smiled.  “Night Lance.”  He pat the younger man’s shoulder as he walked passed, heading down the whole he’d gestured to.  Lance listened as his steps faded into the distance before looking at the screen.

 

Shiro hadn’t been kidding, there were very few books with titles he could understand and the first one… the first one he spotted was a child’s book.  Lance bit the instead of his cheek and clicked it, flipping through the digital pages and pictures.

 

It was a bedtime story. 

 

Lance recalled reading to Joa every night when he was home from the Garrison, some nights when the internet was stable he’d skype home and read to Joa that way.  He had vague memories of his own father doing that, and those were his happiest memories of the man.

 

Taking the tablet Lance headed back towards Blue, his steps firmer and his eyes ahead.  This was a good start, he thought.  Reading to his son was a perfect fatherly thing to do, one that wouldn’t bring him stress over all the things he was missing, would miss.  Lance could work his way up from this.

 

Maybe he could learn Altean, he’d always been quick with languages it shouldn’t be too hard, and that way he’d have more options to choose from when reading to Joa. 

 

For the second time that night Lance settled into Blue’s seat.  “I’m good to go when you are doll.”  He told his lion, a soft smile on his lips.  Blue didn’t hesitate the way she had last time, maybe aware her pilot was telling the truth, maybe accepting he was too stubborn to not do this.  The red light in the corner of the video pop up turned on and Lance grinned into the camera.

 

“Hey kiddo.”  He hummed.  “I found this, well Shiro found this, library of books in English.  Which is pretty impressive considering the whole ‘we’re in space’ thing.  But, he showed it to me and I figured I’d read a story for you.  It’ll be just like when I do it over Skype, expect Uncle Hunk’s asleep so he can’t help me with the voices.  Very disappointing, I know, I will bring it up with the complaints department on your behalf.”  He joked.  Lance adjusted his seat on the chair and started to read the tablet, holding it up so Joa would be able to see the pictures (Blue, helpfully, zoomed in on them).

 

He could do this.  He _would_ do this.  He’d be as good a father as any, even if he was confined to a screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If someone could draw a chubby cheeked Joa in a galra uniform I would be so happy (He has Lance's eyes and complexion, his mothers blond-brown hair, and lots of freckles).

**Author's Note:**

> Teenage dad Lance ftw  
> and by win i mean 'wonderful and tear jerking angst'
> 
> and incase it wasn't clear:  
> when Lance says 'papi' he means himself  
> when Lance says 'mummy' he means Joa's mum  
> when Lance says 'abuela' he means Joa's abuela/his own mum


End file.
